Connect Before You Ask

        

By Terry Whalin @terrywhalin

Part of my commitment in these articles is to write about my journey as a writer and editor. Today I want to tell you about a recent experience with another writer. I’ve changed the details and not used the person’s name because I don’t want to embarrass or call out anyone in the community. I believe my experience can become a “teaching moment.”

In these articles I’ve often encouraged you to ask for help or what you need. You and I belong to a generous community and if you ask in the right way (a big caveat), then you can get what you ask. But there is an earlier action I encourage you to take before you ask, build a relationship.

For years I’ve traveled the country and spoken at writer’s conferences. At this conference, I gave a keynote message and one of my points was encouraging authors to ask me for help and assistance. If someone reaches out to me with a question, it gives me an opportunity to help them but also they can learn more about the world of publishing which is constantly in motion.

During a conference, I meet with a number of people, give them my contact information and my advice. One of these writers who I had met once at an event, reached out to me. He is publishing a new book and asked me to endorse his book. As he suggested, I would only have to read 50% of it then write my endorsement. In the same email he recalled our conversation where I mentioned knowing a bestselling author. In the same email, he asked if I could introduce him to this person.

I respect the courage it took for this writer to reach out to me and ask for what he needed. Here’s the issue from my perspective: his ask had little to no conscious about my own packed schedule and at the moment I have no availability to read 50% his book and write an endorsement. Also I could not introduce him to the bestselling author because I don’t have this author’s email. I responded graciously and declined both asks. Many people would have simply not responded or ghosted this writer but this writer received my response.

Before you ask, there are several aspects that I want to point out:

1. Before you ask, build a connection / relationship. There are multiple ways to get my attention (or anyone else you meet at a conference such as an editor or literary agent) and build a relationship (other than our single meeting at a conference). Here’s some ideas: Review one of their books and send a short email letting them know you have done these reviews. Repost something the person has posted on social media or a blog. Comment on their blog posts or any number of proactive actions where you are visible to this person you are building a relationship. After you build this connection and relationship, then you can ask.

2. Make it easy for them to say yes and ask in the right way. Don’t assume they will read your book. People who endorse books often do not read anything inside the book. This insider information is something I’ve learned from years of working with authors and on endorsements. I encourage you to send a cover with your request and tell them who is publishing the book (a detail this author neglected to tell me). The transparency with this detail is important to include even if you are going to self-publish. Also offer the endorser that if they need your help, you will send a draft or sample endorsement. Dol you see how this offer has cut down the time and energy that other person will have to put out for your endorsement yet you will be more likely to get it?

3. Make only one request in one brief email. You may have a second or third need but don’t load your email with another ask.

I want to help others but this young writer didn’t understand (or likely even consider my intense schedule and the many other things in my life that consume my day. I applaud the courage it took for him to send his request but the shape of the message was an overask and without any work on his part to build a relationship gave me little reason to agree to it. If you don’t take these factors into consideration, then you are basically “begging” to get a “no thank you,” negative response or no response.

The basic principle I’m encouraging with this article is to take visible steps with another person and build your relationship before you ask for their help. 

The writing community is willing to help you if you have become active in it and built the good will and relationships to ask for their help. There are many simple ways you can build these relationships such as active participation in a group where this person also belongs. For the writer that started this post with his overask, it had been at least eight months since we met and during that period, I had not seen his name any place. See why this person asked for something way beyond what I could do or expected from this person? Foundational in this process is the relationship. Build it, connect and reconnect, then ask.

What am I missing in this process from your view? Let me know in the comments below.

Some of My Writing In Other Places

Why I Give Away Books–And You Should Too When you first look at it, it seems counter-productive to give away books that you are selling. If you publish books it is something you should do and I explain the details in this article.

It may not seem like it to a new writer but on Writers on the MoveI explain that beginning writers do get published--especially when you get rejection after rejection as an author. Often new authors will tell me they are writing the next Harry Potter--yet have no idea of the initial struggles that it took for J.K. Rowling to get published. I give the details in this article. 

Once a month I write about book proposals on Almost An Author. In this article I explain Why to Never Submit Your First Draft.

I’ve been using PodMatch.com to book podcast interviews and several of them launched last week and here are those links so you can watch them.

For the second time, Tom Dutta invited me to The Quiet Warrior Show. Our last recording several years ago was only audio but this one included the visual recording and was promoted in many different venues.

Also Coach Jay interviewed me on A New Direction Podcast. We spoke about Publishing Myths. I encourage you to watch this broadcast. 

Also John Brink interviewed me on his On the Brink podcast. John has a remarkable personal story that we discuss during the interview. To promote this interview, the On the Brink team sent several short videos and I’m including one here. 

I show you this information to encourage you to use PodMatch and get booked on a podcast to tell more people about you, your website or your latest book.

In the Spring of 2025, I’m speaking at a couple of conferences. Follow this link to learn more details and hope to see you at one of these events. 

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Much of the publishing process is outside of the writer’s control. 10 Publishing Myths helps writers have a realistic perspective and take action. Get 10 Publishing Myths for only $10 +FREE shipping + over $200 of free bonuses.

4 Reasons I wrote 10 Publishing Myths

By Terry Whalin @terrywhalin

An acquisitions editor at a New York publisher, I spent many hours speaking with authors about their manuscripts and their own expectations for their book.  Often they will tell me, “I want my book to be a bestseller.”

In part, I love to hear those words because as an editor, I'm looking for bestsellers or books that will actively sell into the market. As someone who has been in publishing many years, I understand over 4,500 new books are published every day and 1.6 million books were self-published. The additional bit of information about self-publishing is on average these books sell 100–200 copies during the lifetime of the book. To beat those odds, every author needs to have a plan and strategy for selling their book.

I've seen many plans get changed as books get published. Years ago one of my books which received a large advance, had a different title in the publisher's catalog than when the book was published. This publisher never showed the cover to the high profile author—and he strongly disliked it. As a result, he never promoted the book and the sales were dismal. The book was taken out of print after six months. I was disappointed for all of the effort I put into writing and creating this book but many critical factors in the success of a book are outside of my control.

From other authors, I've heard many of these types of stories about their books. The process of publishing and promoting a book is filled with pitfalls and possible errors. I took my years in publishing and poured it into writing 10 Publishing Myths, Insights Every Author Needs to Succeed.

I want to give you four reasons I wrote 10 Publishing Myths:

1. To give authors a realistic picture of publishing. Many authors have written a manuscript but do not have any idea of the details of publishing. I've written about these details in my book.

2. To help authors understand much of the process is outside of their control. There are many things that can prevent your book from successfully selling in the marketplace.

3. To give authors practical advice they can do to sell books and be successful. While much is outside of the author's control, there are numerous practical actions every author can take in the process. It's the focus of each chapter.

4. To understand there is not a bestselling formula but there are bestselling practices. Many authors are looking for a magic formula to make a bestseller. If such a formula existed every book would be a bestseller because each of us would follow that formula. It does not exist but there are active steps every author can take which is my emphasis. For example, I have worked with other professionals to create a short book trailer. Book trailers are all about exposure. Someone has to hear about your book a number of times before they purchase it. My trailer helps in this process.





5. To take the long view and not look for short term success. (A Bonus Reason) Many authors are looking for a way to rocket to the top of a bestseller list and a short-term gain instead of taking the long view for their book and continuing to tell people about it. From my experience it is the long view that will eventually bear fruit or get you book sales.

My book released last month and can be ordered in four different ways on my website. I encourage you to get a copy for yourself and another one to give it to another writer.

Have you fallen for a publishing myth? Let me know in the comments below.


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In addition to 10 Publishing Myths, I created a bonus chapter on the 11th Publishing Myth. It is free and you can get it today. Just use this link.

My Overflowing Bookshelves Remind Me About Realistic Expectations

Throughout my years in publishing, almost daily books pour into my home. I love books and enjoy seeing the various books that I've acquired for Morgan James Publishing. Our team is making some remarkable books and getting them into the brick and mortar and online bookstores. One of the books I acquired hit several bestseller lists last week including the USA Today bestseller list. These lists measure books that are selling inside bookstores and it was a thrill to have one of my authors on the bestseller list.

Reading books is also something I do in my free time and for fun. No one is paying me to read their book and write a review but if I read the book, I take a few minutes and write an honest review on Amazon and Goodreads. It is a consistent pattern that I follow and I've written over 900 reviews on Amazon and hundreds of reviews on Goodreads. 

I love books and it is fun to receive Advanced Reading Copies (ARCs) of books. Most of my reading is nonfiction but I do sprinkle a few novels into my limited time for reading. I love the storytelling of Brad Meltzer and have read most of his novels. In fact, last year, Meltzer made a personal apperance at my local library. I would have been there except he came at a date when I was speaking at a conference in another state. Meltzer has a book releasing in January, The First Conspiracy, The Secret Plot Against George Washington and the Birth of American Counterintelligence (Flatiron Books, January 2019). Last week (mid-August), I pulled an uncorrected ARC of this book out of my mail. I'm eager to begin reading it soon.

Periodically I have this problem: the bookshelves in my office are full. Then I begin to stack the books on the top of a bookcase. Eventually these books gather into about three stacks with at least a dozen books in each stack. Yes too many books have poured into my office and I need to purge through my bookshelves and remove books.

When I go through this process of sorting it reminds me of several truths:

* There are way more books that I'd like to read than I can actually read

* Thousands of new books enter the market every day and I need to continue to look for ways to promote and market my own books

* Often I have unrealistic expectations about what I can actually read with my limited time

As I sort through my book shelves, I will attempt to be more realistic and narrow the books that I will actually be able to read. Eventually, the overflow stack of books will be eliminated and my books will again be contained in their bookshelves. When completed, I will have several additional boxes of books which I donate to my local library or other places.

Each of us have limits on our time—even for something we love like reading. Do you go through this purging and sorting process at your house? Tell me about it in the comments below.

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You Need "Honest" Book Reviews

Do you have book reviews for your book? Are they “honest” reviews or something you have orchestrated from friends and family?

It is hard work to write a good book and get it into the market. Whether you work with a traditional publisher or self-publish, I hope you have produced an excellent product. At some point in the process, you are ready to release this book into the market. What will others say about your writing? The natural tendency is to expect everyone to glow about your book and send you accolades.

Yet that expectation is not reality.  Not every review will be five star. These reviews are important social proof from readers and feedback to you as the author. Several years ago, I met a novelist who claimed to have sold thousands of books on Amazon. Yes, this author touted amazing numbers for her book sales. Yet when I looked on Amazon, there was one review—and the author had written that review. If you don't think this result is unusual, take a few minutes and look at any bestselling novel on Amazon. If the book has been selling well, then people enjoy it and write reviews—often hundreds of reviews.

I look at other books (even self-published) which have less than five reviews—even if they have been out on the market for several years. Again this absence is social proof of the quality and feedback from readers. Your book should have reviews and as the author, you need to take responsibility to get these reviews.

As the author, you can create a launch team. Recently I've been involved in the launch of several books. I've filled out applications to be a part of the launch team. These applications ask why I should be included. The launch director creates a private Facebook area with encouragement to read the book and post reviews. Recently I got added to a launch team that said they were only going to let 500 people to be on their launch team. What a huge team but see the social proof these authors are gathering for the launch of their book?

Your team may be smaller than 500. Can you launch your book with 25 reviews on Amazon? To launch with 25 reviews, you will need to gather at least 50 people who agree to review your book and will post a review during the week your book is launched. Why so many more than the 25 you need? Even though you do your work and the person has committed, not everyone carries through with their commitment. Maybe the book doesn't reach them in the mail. Maybe they get ill. Maybe they have some family emergency. Life happens for every person and they don't carry through with their promised review. As the author, you need to recognize this fact and move beyond it with even more people to write the review.

This process takes work and effort from the author. Bestselling author Tim Grahl has written about this process and guided numerous bestselling authors. He has a valuable article here. Be sure and scroll to the bottom of the page and get his Amazon Review Package.  You give up your email address but get an excel spread sheet, sample emails and much more. This package can be a valuable resource for you to gather your reviews—if you use it. Also I encourage you to get this free teleseminar that I created with Dana Lynn Smith about reviews.

In your request to the reviewer, you are asking for an “honest” review. Not every review will be a Five Star Amazon review or glowing. One of my Morgan James authors called me almost in tears a while back asking what she should do with a one star review. My advice: do nothing. Don't comment back. Don't complain to Amazon. Do nothing. The fact that you've received a variety of reviews is good for your book.

Over ten years ago as a frustrated acquisitions editor, I wrote Book Proposals That Sell. The book has hundreds of Five Star Amazon reviews and it has helped many people. I have offered my publisher a revision or update but he has not taken my offer. The inside of this book has not been revised. It continues to be reviewed. About four months ago, I received a detailed One Star review. Did I read the review? Yes. Did I take any action or reach out to this reviewer? No. This book continues to help people. If you want the revision, then get the Ebook version, which has been updated. Or take my Write A Book Proposal course. You need to fix what you can, then let the rest go—and continue working on getting reviews.

Has your book been out several years? Are you still working on getting reviews? I hope so. These new reviews will help you continue to sell more books.

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Writing Takes Courage

It's not easy to be a writer and push your ideas out into the world.  The process of publishing involves risk and takes courage. I wish there were some guarantees. The only guarantee for the writer is to continually work hard to expand their platform and reach their audience.

Through twitter, often writers will reach out to me through email and ask how I can help them. My answer depends on their situation and what they need. Recently a self-published novelist approached me for help. She had sold 35 copies of her book and wanted to know what to do next. I sent her a number of links and ideas. Her situation is fairly typical. What authors don't often consider if they self-publish is they are taking 100% of the responsibility for selling the book and completely on their own (no one helping them). Another aspect they don't know (because they often aren't a part of publishing) is they are jumping into relationship with a company publishing at least 50,000 titles a year (follow this link if you don't believe the number and I know these numbers are four years old and only increasing).

In my exchange with this novelist, I offered to review her book and possibly pitch it to my publication board at Morgan James Publishing. I say “possibly” because I do not do this for every author or every type of book.  As an acquisitions editor, my responsibility is to look for the right book and the right author. We have standards and criteria—unlike self-publishing. We only publish about 150 books a year and receive over 5,000 submissions for those few spots. My job involves this sorting process looking for quality and the right authors. If (and that could be a big if) the submission is appropriate and well-done, then I process the submission into the publisher system and later schedule a time to speak with the author.

She did some research online and learned there might be a financial investment so she balked sending me her “lifetime work.” The key is there “might” be an investment—if she even sends it and if she gets an offer to publish. There are many unknowns in this process but the writer has to have courage and move ahead. As an acquisitions editor, I invest hours with authors talking to them about the unique way books are published at Morgan James.

It does not mean the process is easy or simple but it is possible. I'm sincere on my twitter profile where I offer to help authors and give my personal email address. I help in many different ways:

1. Answering my email and returning phone calls. This type of prompt communication is different in a publishing world which doesn't respond. Often writers feel like their submissions and emails and manuscripts go into a black hole.

2. Sending them to my free information like this article in The Writing Life or on Right-Writing or one of my numerous free teleseminars.

3. Sometimes I offer for the author to send their manuscript to my work email then process the submission and see if I can get them a book contract. Each step in the process for them to move forward takes courage and action. In this process, you need to work with people you can trust—but also people who give you a realistic picture of the process. I tell every author that I speak with about Morgan James that it is 80% their responsibility. Also I make sure I tell them about how bookstores buy books and the authors key role in that process. It's key to manage their expectations and help them understand the important role of every author in the process of getting their book into the market.

When we think of courage, often a lion illustrates courage because of their behavior. As writers we need to have courage and take action with our writing.

Books change lives. I know first hand how a book changed my life. It does not happen sitting on your computer or in your desk drawer. It takes courage to take action and get it out into the world. Do something courageous with your writing today.

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Before You Create a "New" Category of Books

It happens fairly often. An unpublished writer will pitch a new genre or type of a novel. Or it happens in the children's area, another inexperienced writer will create a new type of children's book. What they don't understand is their pitch sets off all sorts of warning bells to the editor or literary agent (at least if they are actively thinking about the market when they read the submission).

For example, I read a novel manuscript that had several recipes in the final pages. These recipes ties to the story line and weren't random that the author included it but these recipes are not the reason the target audience picks up the book. They will purchase the novel for entertainment or escape. The inclusion of the extra material does not fit the expectations of the market. If someone is going to need a recipe, they will purchase a cookbook.

I've also met authors who believe they are creating a new genre of fiction. Yes they have created a catchy name for this new category. The question the literary agent or editor is asking (internally), how will this book fit into the marketplace? If they can't answer this question, then the author will receive a polite “thanks but no thanks” rejection/ pass letter.

I also see this experience in the children's book area—particularly in the picture book market. Writers will read tons of picture books to their own children and decide to write a book. While they may have a terrific concept and story and their manuscript may be well written, they have never stopped to learn the details of how the children's book market works. 

The children's book market is very segmented. Your book will not reach all ages of children but needs to have an expected target. This target age will affect the words you use for your manuscript, the illustrations, the subjects and much more. Also picture books have a specific format and length. The shortest picture book is 24 pages and make sure you layout those 24 pages properly with a trial “dummy” book. Just use google to find some examples, then follow the expectations. If your book is short, then you need to rework your story until it is the right length.

I've seen a number of unpublished picture book authors that just decide to “fill in” the blank pages in the back of their book with other information (not connected to the story or the concept). Or maybe they use CreateSpace to create their book but see extra pages in the smallest format and “fill in.” Here's the insight for you: “fill-ins” are probably landing in the rejection stack. They will not garner serious consideration because they break the expectations of the picture book market.

As a writer who wants to find a publishing home, you need to learn the expectations for a particular type of writing and write with excellence before you try and break those patterns.   Yes you can always self-publish but this action is full of challenges and potential dangers (spending a lot of money with little return for example). Writers who are not in publishing don't understand there are thousands of people (at least 50,000 for most of these self-publishers) and on average sell only a few copies. That is not where as a writer I want to put my limited time and resources.

Publishers have to meet the expectations of their authors but also to produce excellent books which will be prized, discussed and promoted among booksellers and librarians as well as the general public. If you haven't seen a particular type of book, often there is a good reason why you haven't. I encourage you to get into a writer's group, attend a writer's conference, join a critique group and get into the community to learn before you leap. It will help propel your writing life forward.

I have a mixing bowl illustration because many writers believe writing a book is like mixing a cake. You simply gather the ingredients (words) and put them into a document and fire them off to an editor or agent. Just like with a cake, if you put in the wrong ingredient, you can ruin your cake. It's the same with a manuscript. The unexpected additional element could ruin your opportunity to get published.

When You Hit A Bad Day

Let's face it head on. Everyone has a bad day. You know what I'm talking about. 

When you walk out to your car and see the tire is flat—and naturally you are trying to rush off to some important meeting.

Or your computer crashes in the middle of an important rewrite on an article or book and you lose hours of work because you didn't back it up. 

Or you get sick and land in bed. Or someone in your family gets sick. Or a dear friend suddenly dies.

Or a friend or a co-worker promises they will do something—and they don't. So it creates huge amounts of unexpected work for you or a project you were counting on completing didn't happen.

These various possibilities that I just listed are a fraction of what happens to everyone. The unexpected happens to each of us with our writing and publishing lives. 

Here's the critical question for you: when you meet one of these difficulties, does it totally derail you so you don't complete what needs to be written. Or do you rise to the challenge and continue forward with your writing?

Something derails writing for a day. Do you shake it off and return to it the next day? Or do you set it aside and say, the time must not be right? There is a time and place to persevere. 

This month many publications and programs have been celebrating the storied career of journalist Barbara Walters. At 84, she is retiring this week from 17 years on The View. This week I read an article about Barbara Walters in AARP magazine, which claims have the world's largest circulation at 24.4 million (more than three times the circulation of Reader's Digest).

In the AARP article called What I Know Now: Barbara Walters, she shares the secrets of her success saying, “I think the secret of my success is that I persevered. I didn't give up. I didn't say, 'This is a lousy job, and I'm unhappy, and I'm going to quit.' I went through the tough times, and they were tough. And I was fortunate that I came out the other end.” I admire Barbara Walter's perseverance.

Recently my agent friend Steve Laube wrote an article What to do when technology fails? I did feel bad for the author who lost the entire manuscript on a computer the day it was due at the publisher. As a result the book was canceled. Buried in the story was the fact the author had missed the third extension. What happened in the case of the first two extensions? This story wasn't told.

About ten years ago when I started working as an editor on the inside of publishing houses, I learned that writers are notoriously late. I've often been the editor who the author calls and tells about their bad day then asks for an extension. Publishers know about bad days so they often build some flexibility into the deadline.

Yet writers should not count on that flexibility or extension. Here's how to distinguish yourself as a writer and make editors love you: turn in your writing when you promise to turn it in—with excellence.

It's one of the elements that I've done over and over with my writing deadlines—met them. I recall writing one section of a book where I stayed at my computer all night in order to meet the deadline. At that time, I had a full-time editorial job and I had taken on a book project to write. 

When I didn't come to bed, in the middle of the night my wife came down to my office to see if everything was OK. Everything was fine except I had to meet a deadline and did not make it to bed that particular night. I fired off my deadline material to the editor, cleaned up and went off to my full-time job. Yes, I drank some extra caffeine that day and was tired but I delivered what I promised to the editor and put in a full day at work. I've only done it once so I don't make a regular habit of such actions. 

How do you handle bad days? Does it derail you so you don't complete what needs to be written or do you shake it off and continue?